The Pronoun “We.”

We live on this continuum too much security can cause depression, too much autonomy can cause anxiety.

How do we balance this within our relationships, within our careers, within our lives, especially during this sensitive time as we land a new normal. Zoom meetings, and shopping online, and then sometimes not or peering into the jaws of the debt accrued over the past few years due to the slippery slope of this pandemic. How to establish security? How to establish autonomy? Within a marriage, we need to utilize the pronoun we.

The moment a partner refuses to disclose finances, historically it is because she/he or they are hiding something. There is no security in secrets. How to provide autonomy for the partner who utilizes that need via money, reallocate a different way to ensure there is autonomy whether it is opening up the marriage, or ensuring the marriage has deliberate separate vacation days, I do not know. What I do know is that there are solutions as we discover how every person thinks and feels, there are solutions that can elevate a relationship from two I’s to a we. Initially the first step is to work opposite the emotion. Do what you do not want to do. Rather than spend on yourself, do the opposite, give that money to your partner. Do the opposite of what you would want to do to benefit your family.

“The secret Alice is to surround yourself with people who make your heart smile, it is then only then that you will find Wonderland.”

Alice in Wonderland